Sep. 30th, 2005

ladymandrake: (Default)
pulse (bug poem)

you crawled into my bed that night
like some sort of giant insect
and i found myself spellbound
at the sight of you,
beautiful and grotesque and all the rest of that bug stuff
bluffing your way into my mouth
behind my teeth, reaching for my scars-
that night we got kicked out of two bars
and laughed our way home

that night you leaned over
and threw up into your hair
and i held you there, thinking-
i would offer you my.....pulse
if i thought it would be useful
i would give you my breath,
the problem with death
is that we have some hundred years
and then they can build buildings on our only bones
100 years, and then your grave is not your own
and we lie in out beds, and our graves
unable to save ourselves
from the quaint tragedies we invent- and undo,
from the stupid circumstances we slalom through

and i realized that night that the hall light,
which seemed so bright when you turned it on,
is nothing-
compared to the dawn
which is nothing-
compared to the light
which seeps from you while you're sleeping,
cocooned in my room-
beautiful and grotesque,

that night we got kicked out of two bars
and laughed our way home

i thought-
i would offer you my pulse,
i would give you my breath
i would offer you my pulse,
i would give you my breath

This song hit me today for some odd reason, Ani does that, Just when I think I know all she has to tell me I notice a hidden gem on an album I've listened to a bajillion times and suddenly there it is ENLIGHTENMENT. Most of the time the lyrics jump out at me and instantly click but usually I have no idea what they are clicking to. Silly me, trying to make sense of my psyche and on no coffee. Maybe I can talk scott into going to sparky and clarks with me or to the diner for breakfast and coffee. I know I'll be carrying this song around with me the rest of the day, my little peice of enlightenment thanks to the goddess of folk.
ladymandrake: (Default)

Wow now I've had a HUGE cup of supercharged sparky and clarks coffee (a rocky I believe it was called) full of chocolate and hazelnut espresso goodness. I'm soooooo hyper. The muffin I had (almond and poppyseed) was FABULOUS. I've decided that I will be going to the poetry nights they have on the 2nd and 4th saturdays from now on. My artistic side is getting antsy and needs to be let out to play :) This weekend I get to paint my white pumpkin, I'll post pics when its done.   I'm sitting here in my tiny little switchboard room giving jody her lunch break and contemplating life, love, happiness and hyperness.  I have good music on and I stopped at the library, returned the movie and two books I was done with and got out the ENTIRE first season of the L WORD and Supersize me for tonight's 5 1/2 hours of fun.  Maybe I should start considering taking out cds from the library and doing music nights while on the switchboard instead of movies.  I couldn't find any good foreign films to check out, I saw one that was somewhat interesting looking but I've never heard anything about it so I held off. 

I'm meeting with Angie and Nicky on saturday night to discuss their lesson material, their upcoming workshops and their upcoming initiations.  I'm excited to start up again and I think we are going to do a group meditation to start things out on saturday night.  I want to start working with both of them on deeper meditations and maybe some journeying.  I think they are both ready for it. 

Nicky is going out with all of her katoda (don't ask) friends today to see the corpse bride and hang out at the mall.  I'm excited for her, she has REALLY blossomed and made ALOT of friends.  She's trying to find a job but isn't having much success.

I need to soak my purse in oxyclean tonight, fucking salem.  I didn't realize it til after I left the house that he sprayed my purse at some point NO DAMMIT ITS MINE MARK YOUR TERRITORY ELSEWHERE!  Patrick sent me two great pins which I proudly put on my bag o' buttons.  One says "Question authority NOT YOUR MOTHER" and the other says "DRAMA" with the red "NO" symbol around it (the red circle and slash).  So perfect for the recent events.  I'd like scott to ad to my pin collection and get me a pin or two for on it that he likes.  I have a bi pride, "I love my vagina" and assorted Ani and Bitch and Animal buttons I got at the show I saw of them :)  I feel I need a pentacle button or something pagan-y for on it :)  Maybe a purple goddess OOOOOOOOOO FIMO CLAY *ideas*

Welp I'm off for now, gonna go kill brain cells by playing pop it.



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